The KFC Double Down is Just as Delicious as You Think It is
I ate the KFC Double Down and have lived to tell the tale.
A co-worker told me about this amazing concoction of two chicken “filets” that act as bread for a sandwich of bacon, two kinds of cheese, and the Colonel’s special sauce a couple of weeks ago, and I was counting down the days until it was released. They say this thing is so meaty it needs no bun, but it also apparently needs no lettuce, tomato, pickles, nor onion. That’s right–this thing is UNAPOLOGETICALLY UNHEALTHY. And that is what I love about America.
Apparently this is what everyone else loves about America, too, because all ten to twelve people in line with me at the KFC near Grand Central were speaking with European accents. At first I thought, “HaHA! See? Everyone else is just as fat-crazed as we are!” But then I realized they were actually probably like, “We’re only here on vacation for two days. What’s the craziest, most ridiculously indulgent American thing we can eat?” Thank you, KFC.
As I walked home from KFC, my paper bag swinging beside me, I couldn’t decide if I felt
a) totally dirty, or
b) as if I had Willy Wonka’s golden ticket in my hand.
As soon as I bit into the Double Down, though, the concerns about my well-being melted away. The chicken was flecked with herbs on the outside, bright white on the inside, and juicy allllllllll over. The two strips of bacon, unnaturally pink as they were, were just the right amount of crunchiness, and the cheeses were that perfect sort of half-melted you only get at fast food chains. I understand that people are afraid of this mysterious Colonel’s Sauce, but it was just a sort of Southwestern blend: spicy, peppery, slightly orange-colored.
The sauce was abundant, though not so much that it made the “sandwich” messy, and I really could see myself eating the thing in public without too many shirt-spills, despite its unusual composition. One was definitely filling enough, which is a good thing, since it cost as much as a value meal at any other fast food joint.
And I got the grilled version, which means my arteries only half-collapsed ten minutes after I finished, and I only half-hated myself in the morning.
15 Comments
Heesa Phadie
Yes, finally something you eat/review that I can get :P
In all honesty I’m reluctant to give it a go because I didn’t come up with it. I hear from most others that it is WAY to salty…how was it for you…sodium wise?
plumpdumpling
Oh, I just assumed you were cooking up everything I review at home for yourself. Because what’s easier than passion-fruit-filled foie gras?
It’s not nearly as outrageous as some of your food inventions, but maybe they’re trying to ease us into it. Build up our tolerance for salt and fat before they unleash one of your beasts.
I didn’t find it excessively sodiumy at all, which is kind of funny considering the grilled version actually had more than the fried. Although since one NYC assemblyman is trying to outlaw salt in restaurant cooking, maybe I’m exposed to more salt than I realize here every day and have built up a tolerance to it.
Tessa
This makes my veins curdle. Not the blood; the veins themselves. They liquefy and then curdle, just for you.
plumpdumpling
I’ve been meaning to try pig’s blood cubes, and I don’t mean to insinuate that this lovely face is any way piggish, but I think your curdled veins would make a fine substitute.
Tessa
Oh?
plumpdumpling
Love! LOVE! I especially like that the Haagen-Dazs container somehow looks as if it’s from another era to match your 20s hair and polka dots.
Kim
I am also very excited you posted about the Double Down!
So, I think this sounds entirely delicious, which is kind of a big deal because 1.) I obviously am supposed to be far too snobby for fast food chains, and 2) I don’t really like chicken. But it came up at work the other day to the standard chorus of OMFG HEART ATTACK IN A NON-BUN or whatever, to which I was like, but is it really any worse than a standard fried chicken sandwich on a bun? Which has apparently been an oft-presented argument and generally speaking, it’s totally not. LIKE HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT WHAT FUCK IS IN THAT BURGER KING ONE?!
Anyway, what I’m saying is I’m basically totally unimpressed by the healthy state of your arteries.
I want one (I am never eating one).
Btw, have you heard about some thing … maybe it is just called the Heart Attack? I can’t remember. A southerner taught me after making me set foot in a Chik-fil-A. Anyway, the “bun” is actually grilled cheese sandwiches and the whole thing includes more than one beef patty and possibly fried eggs and bacon? THAT one terrified me.
plumpdumpling
Gah! This stupid KFC “sandwich” has completely ruined the Google search results. “Heart Attack Sandwich” comes up with 4 pages of Double Down results, and then I got bored and stopped looking. I did find this, though, which could be what you’re talking about.
But yeah, seriously, who do these people think they are acting like KFC’s made something soooooo hideously gross? I’ll bet a McDonald’s Egg McMuffin is worse than the Double Down.
I want two more.
curlywurlygurly
dude! i can’t believe you went to all the trouble to eat this monstrosity and then wussed out and went with the GRILLED chicken. that is so weak! i’m beyond disappointed in you. where is your sense of adventure? your cholesterol?!? don’t be such a wimp. now, get back out there and sample the FRIED version.
hahahahahahah
xoxoxo
Tracey
I love that they don’t try to wrap the thing in a lettuce leaf like other chains do with their bunless “sandwiches”. I always peel off that limp lettuce, anyway.
I would have a hard time not ordering a giant Pepsi and a side of mac and cheese, though, which would totally defeat the purpose of this low-carb delicacy.
Dishy
HAH! My husband & I saw the commercial for this last night – he didn’t believe it was real. I would LOOOOVE to take one for a test drive. Who needs bread when you can have extra chicken! Though it’s likely to throw me in vertigo, it might be worth it. Right>? Pass the napkins please.
Bachelor Girl
I’m not a big chicken fan (except for, like, perfectly-roasted dark meat – yeah, I’m a total snob about chicken), but this actually looks pretty tasty. I probably wouldn’t order one, but I wouldn’t hate The Guy for ordering one and then giving me a bite, either.
Chantee
Holy crap! Brandon wants to try this damn sandwich. I’ll just wait into they can inject lard into my femural artery….
But it is intriguing…
Krista
I’m glad you tried it. I was tempted to run out on Monday, but restrained myself. You need the fried chicken buns!
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